It seems like every time I decide to start something I am full force ahead, I have so much drive and determination! Then all of a sudden it bursts... I'm not ready to quit or give up, but I just feel defeated. Something inside me says "hey you've been doing this new thing a couple days you should see some results!" Whether it's a food I've cut out, a food I've added, or a new workout I'm trying I want to see instant results. I do know that isn't how things in life work, usually things that are instant aren't lasting results.
My new lifestyle, not diet, is going pretty well so far. I'm on day 4 and when I come across a food that I can't have I see it differently. I don't look at that shake as, "I really wish I could have that, it's so unfair that I have to be on this diet." I don't set and dwell over the fact that I am not able to eat it, instead I say "It's not good for me, it's not part of my life now" and I move on. Not to say that there won't come a day or time when I really will be tempted and feel like I am deprived, but I know I will be able to overcome that temptation because of God's promise to us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
God has been working in my heart the past few weeks over this issue. It started with a devotion that I started on You Version called Made to Crave. It challenged me truly, the lady who wrote it continued to talk about how she gave it all up, no cheat weekends or days, but she saw it through until her goal was reached. She sought God in her times of weakness and learned to crave Him, not food. I struggled with what God was calling me to do, give my food addiction up, and what I wanted to do, work hard to gorge myself of what I was deprived of.
Little did I know God was also working in my the past few weeks through my Pastor's sermons. He was preaching from Hosea, talking about how it's okay to not be okay. How once we get to that realization we need to begin to spend intimate time with God, to truly know Him and His will for us. How we are to turn from that sin and start new with Christ. It wasn't until today that God brought it all around full circle to reaffirm my decision and what had to be done. Our Pastor was saying how God is saying it's time we choose, time to decide what we are going to do. No more riding the fence. We are either throwing away our sin and past to walk with Him in righteousness or we are choosing to live in sin and away from our Father. I knew that my choice to walk away from this on again off again "dieting/cheating" routine was what God was calling me to. He was telling me it's time to crave Me, not food, it's time to all Me to guide and control your steps, not food. I have made my decision and left those foods behind. Is it for lifetime? I don't know, right now God is working in me to teach me discipline. It hurts to go through this again, to hate my body, to be sad and depressed to look in the mirror, to feel helpless, but I have to let go of that. It's not controlling me and this is the last time I will be in the place. God has to break us sometimes, but He will restore us, and through His restoration the lessons He will teach me will grow me into the person He is molding me to be.
So Satan before you push any more of your lies about how ugly, fat, unlovable, and disgusting I am, I'm going to stop you. Because my Father says I am created in His imagine and that His love endures FOREVER. He has given me all I will ever need and will provide for me always. I must clothe myself in God's truth, love, and hope. Not Satan's lies.
-JustAGirl
No comments:
Post a Comment